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May Workshop - Aurelia

Posted: Thu Jun 01, 2017 1:29 am
by Aurelia West
Artist
An arm is just a canvas to be made
A line, a sketch, a plane can all be born
So paint and ink can come here to be laid

A pleasing work will always make the grade
So let us not allow art to be torn
An arm is just a canvas to be made

Some love their hands, some want only be paid
Therefore an artist's tools are often worn
So paint and ink can come here to be laid

Who says that lines cannot be without shade?
There always will be critics with their scorn
An arm is just a canvas to be made

Though many may come and try to persuade
The artist has the choice what to adorn
So paint and ink can come here to be laid

Do not allow a dream to be delayed
For those unmet lie in the mind forlorn
An arm is just a canvas to be made
So paint and ink can come here to be laid

Re: May Workshop - Aurelia

Posted: Sun Jun 04, 2017 11:24 pm
by Sirius Fudge
Aure! This is a well-crafted villanelle. The descriptions are written with many details. The repeated lines are not an overkill, it is still pleasing to the ears even though it is repeated many times in the poem. The rhymes are also well-thought of. And the length of the lines is of good length, not similar to my short lines. I can see the dedication you have in writing the poem. It seems that you really want to convey the artistic message of the poem - which is successful because I think it is effective, at least for me. Good job, Aure!