April Workshop - Aurelia

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Aurelia West
No broom
Posts: 65
Joined: Wed Sep 14, 2011 4:21 am
Location: USA

April Workshop - Aurelia

Postby Aurelia West » Mon May 01, 2017 12:37 am

Haiku #1

And salutations,
I say to no one but me
Internal discourse


Haiku #2
From fall to falling,
Seems to be no other way
Apart from the eyes


Tanka #1

Cracks in pots on hills
Decorate the horizon
So clearly designed
I want them to be for us
But you turn and dissipate


Tanka #2

Ink is running thin
Obsession is dangerous
Yet we continue,
Scratching upon paper that
Has already been torn up
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Sirius Fudge
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Re: April Workshop - Aurelia

Postby Sirius Fudge » Sun Jun 04, 2017 11:29 pm

There is a consistency to the message of the haikus and tankas - that of hope and dream at the beginning but having sadness and pain in the end. The message is delivered well in the poems. I cannot help but hope that you are okay, Aure. Haha! I love the internal discussions of the mind in the two haikus. It is well portrayed in the words used. I also appreciate the word choices made in the two tankas. I can see that the writer has a wide range of vocabulary used - and it is shown in the two tankas. Good job, Aure! Well done!
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